Another BV from Ted

Hey, you raunchy-ass readers, have you missed our nose-candy-lovin' party-doll, Pixie Mixie?

Me, too, kittens. And, apparently, there's a little something that Pixie herself has been yearning for: Sapphic tongue-tangling.

So, she indulged recently--and how. Yay for Pixie! Yay for us!

'Twas a chillin' night at a palatial pad belonging to one of Pixie's many fake friends. Just a few chicks gathered around the glass table, snorting and gossing--alas, not playing much mah-jongg, as these babes are way too young and tirelessly cool for that.

Suddenly, assorted rail-thinistas looked across the room and saw P.M. making out, "hard-core, tongues heavy," with a gal-pal, so blurted one of the babes who hasn't eaten since Cher had her real body parts. Too hot.

Perhaps our daring dahling has grown tired of boys? Heaven knows she ain't had the greatest year in the man-love department. Or maybe there was some magical potion in the blow she was vacuuming up her delicate nose?


In any case, my dilated eyewitness has run around with Pixie and her pals for a long-ass time, and she offered her interpretation: "I don't think she was just screwing around. I think she's gay and repressing it."

Oh, Pixie-doll, haven't you seen Brokeback Mountain? Don't you know what all that pretending will do to a girl's complexion/career?

And it ain't





Source:Eonline! Awful Truth

Jessica looks to Angleina for a role model

Whatever happened to making your own desicions and being your own person? Well both of these girls seem to desperately need positive media attention and they think charity is the way to do it. Unfortunately, it really doesn't mean anything if it's not coming from the heart and it's just another fake attempt for publicity. Simpson's charity for Project Smile called her to D.C. last week where she hardly cracked a smile the entire time. I really feel that Jessica Simpson is consisted of nothing but lies. She's such a preacher's daughter.

"When she's not on the movie set, Jessica is working to set up an organization for orphaned children. "I just really want to bring awareness to interracial adoption," she said. "Definitely I know that I will adopt. I want to adopt before I have my own kids."

Jessica called Angelina Jolie and her adopted kids an inspiration. "I think that Angelina Jolie has done amazing, amazing things," Simpson said."

Ew i bet she started leaking through that material.

Jennifer sells Brad's clothes

British tabloid The Sun reported:

"JENNIFER ANISTON got revenge on ex-hubby BRAD PITT by giving his old clothes to charity.
She was spotted dumping bags of Brad’s rags at a second-hand store in Burbank, California.

A source said: “When a woman in the shop realised that it was Jennifer Aniston, she went over to see what she’d left.

“But it was too late because a worker who didn’t recognise Jen had already dumped the clothes in a bin mixed with lots of others.”

Last year Jen held a ceremony on the beach by her Malibu home where she set fire to her wedding dress — officially marking the demise of her marriage."

I would have done ANYTHING to get my hands on some of Brad's duds. Imagine wearing Brad Pitt's old t-shirt as your pajamas every night? Holy crap. That woman in the shop probably murdered the worker who didn't recognize Jen.

Surprise, Surprise

I got this story from A Socialite's Life:

"I saw Lohan the other night in NYC...someone help this girl! She was in the VIP section of a popular hot spot in Manhattan snorting coke with her girlfriends. No joke. She looks like death, literally. I give her a few months to live, & I am not divulging anything more.
The club actually starts with a b. and I see that a few blogs have picked this story up as well, for those who dont believe me. and whomever said that about Mischa Barton...that girl loves some blow. I've seen her come in high as a kite too.

Lohan has hit rock bottom. Just wait. Lohan is a crackhead and is on a destructive path almost worse than what Courtney Love was going through in 2004."

Disaster.

Oh ma gaw ya'll!

It's Laura Lynn Covington, my totally most favorite cousin in like the whole world ya'll!! Oh my gaw, and she's totally so good with baby Sean. Where's mawma??

What's wrong with La Lohan's roots?

Fugly.

Sienna begs Jude to come back

Sienna Miller has reportedly begged ex-fiancé Jude Law to give their relationship one more chance - and has even promised to stop drinking if he takes her back. The beautiful actress, who was recently linked to 'Star Wars' actor Hayden Christensen, is said to have told Jude she will do anything to rekindle their turbulent romance. Sienna's friend told Britain's Mail On Sunday newspaper: "She has started contacting Jude again, saying she can't live without him and will do anything to win him back. "She has promised to stop drinking, which Jude hated because she becomes argumentative. She also says she will stop smoking, which is another of Jude 's pet hates." Sienna and Jude's romance first hit the rocks after he cheated on her with his children's nanny and despite many attempts to revive their relationship, the couple finally split earlier this year.

This girl is pathetic. He's supposed to be begging her to come back.

Hilton rejected by Nachos

Paris Hilton has gone running back into the arms of Paris Latsis after Stavros Niarchos acted like a jerk:

"Stavros was with a Greek friend, and Paris was freaking out because she couldn't understand what they were saying," an insider told the mag. "She thought they were laughing at her." When Paris, 25, looked like she was about to cry, Stavros, 20, didn't offer any support, which, says the insider, was the final straw: "Paris has never seemed so upset. She really thought that Stavros was the one."

Duh. He's a big Greek monster. Maybe he'll try Mary-Kate again. Oh, wait, she's back together with David Katzenberg. Damn, all these kids need to break out of their little STD circle.

The rumor that Will Ferrell died.

This happened to me last week. Somebody spread a rumor that Will Ferrell died in a paragliding accident the other day. Fortunately, he didn't die. What would the world do without Ferrell movies? Those are the greatest and I think he's effing hilarious. Thank God he's alive. His hometown of Irvine would def be upset.

Charlie's Angels

Drew and Lucy hanging out. They are so cute. Here they are at the Marie Claire World Hunger Campaign reception Monday in New York City.

Colin filming another movie

At least it's not a porn this time. He's shooting 'Pride and Glory' about a family of police officers. Ick. He still looks hot though. I wonder how his son and his baby momma is doing?

Peasant girl in red

Somebody please feed the peasant girl. She looks like somebody keeps her locked up in the basement and doesn't feed her. Maybe Alfre Woodard is her real mother.

Lady in red

Gwen looks fab. Here she is valeting her car at Williams-Sonoma in Beverly Hills. I love the Fendi bag.

Reese already back to work

She's filming a movie in England .. here she is delivering pizza. I think Christina Ricci is in it as well, and she plays a girl who has a pig face. It's called 'Penelope'. That's so sweet that Reese decided to make a movie about her daughter Ava.

Paris and HER new toy

She probably wrecked her Bentley.

*A yummy treat*

Daaaayyyyyuuuuummmmmm.

Angie's still too skinny

I don't know how she's still so thin. If I were 7 months pregnant I would be huge by now. She's so pale and sickly. Bitch needs to eat. Maybe she wants all her babies to look like she adopted them straight from a third world country.

Lil' Kim's Dolce & Gabbana ad

I could never understand why certain people pride themselves on being trashy. I like D&G but not with her modeling for them. Does she think it's cute that her ta-ta's are always hanging out? And those colors are sick. WTF are they thinking?

Kate's new toy

Kate Moss recently purchased a 24K gold vibrator for $350. You know it's totally to replace her faberge egg which she hid her drugs in. Nobody in customs will want to touch her dildo. Here she is with a cute outfit as usual, driving her cute car in England.

Jessica's totally pregnant!

Look how she's covering her stomach in EVERY picture. I was reading Ted's Awful Truth today, and he even heard the gossip:

"Rumors schmumors. Let's see. What's floatin' around town. Britney preggers again? Prolly. More on that tomorrow. Can't wait, huh? But how 'bout that Jessica Simpson preggers? Now that one's infinitely more plot thickening, as it would explain (a) why Nick Lachey has been awfully gal-friendly as of late, total recovery hookups in every sense o' the word, I'm sure, and (b) why Nick's good bud Mr. Matt Leinert was steallar, if not superstellar in the UT-USC game.

My Desk Austin insisted to moi that Matty wasn't up to par because he had been babysitting Nick's shattered ego the night before. This male brewery-bonding occurred immediately after N.L. discovered his ex is reportedly not missing him in the least, has moved on in a big way, said buds superclose to all good-lookin' parties.

Desk Austin is adamant about the dish reported above. Keep in mind, D.A. has never been wrong before--they told me about Jen hooking up with Brad down there, way back when, not to mention certain exquisitely scrumptious bongo-in-the-night deets."

She's totally preggers and doesn't know who the daddy is! In my previous post of her grocery shopping she looked really heavy. Here some pics of her shopping in LA with her only friend left, her hairstylist, Ken Paves.

Pamela looks trashed

Here she is leaving the Kabaret Club in London with her new boyfriend. She's also taking a picture with Ray-J (Brandy's little brother). She refused a photo with him unless he took his fur coat off. I guess she thought it was going to bite her. She has some weird writing on her boob too. Ew.

Kate takes Pete back

Pete Doherty has begged his way back into her arms.

Love sick Pete Doherty’s wooing of ex-girlfriend Kate Moss has worked – the supermodel’s given him a second chance.

The Babyshambles frontman wrote a love note to Moss on the window of a car as he was being driven away from a London court on Thursday, where he was appearing on drugs charges.

Now the pair have enjoyed several nights together at Moss’ country hideaway in Gloucestershire – and the model, who split from Doherty last year after being pictured taking cocaine in Babyshambles’ recording studios, has even given him the keys to her new London pad.

A source tells the News Of The World, “It's the news Kate's been trying to hide, but it's true they're spending more and more time together.

“Lots of people will find this hard to understand but Kate has deep feelings for Pete and she's not going to throw them away. Pete's like a love-sick teenager all over again."

However, Moss’ love comes with a condition – she’s told him he must win his much publicised battle with crack and heroin.

The source adds, "She's told Doherty he has four weeks to show her he can keep out of trouble and away from drugs. She is worried about being tarnished with unpredictable Pete just when everything's on the right track with her career and daughter."

I would fall for it too. He probably has good coke.

Source:EntertainmentWise

Chestica really is a bitch

I was reading Ted Casablanca's Awful Truth on Eonline! tonight, and came across this:

"Desk Iraq (I kid you not!) tells me Jessica Simpson isn't such the sweetheart. At least not when she and Nick L. visited the troops back before their bustup. "Nick got a real kick out of a Bengals hat one of my buddies had on," reports Desk I. "He motioned to Jessica to come over and meet us, and she said, "They're all dirty!" They being the dudes, not the hats.

Does this really surprise anyone? I mean, the girl could barely do her own laundry on Newlyweds. You can't expect her to touch soiled people! Even if they are, like, protecting our country and all that."

Well, I already knew that all along, especially after hanging out with her. She's ridiculous.

Slut Sienna IS headed for a meltdown

OMG look at this bitch. I HATE her little boy haircut. FUG. How tacky! This is at a charity event for sick children.

A blind item from MK at Dlisted

Johnny and Wino for-evs

Johnny and Coke Kate (who looks trashed)

Johnny and French superstar Vanessa


"There's a new face for Chanel! She's replacing coke gal Kate Moss. Let's just say the new face has less then six degrees of separation from Kate Moss and she resembles a certain celeb with a five finger discount problem."

Duh! It's totally Winona. Notice how every Chanel model has dated Johnny Depp? Kate Moss, Vanessa Paradis, and now Winona forever? Unless it's Natalie Portman which, ew, I hope it's not because I can't stand that fug mole on her cheek. It bugs me so bad. Moley Moley Moley.

Here is Vanessa and Kate for Chanel.




And just in case it might be her, here's a pic of Natalie and just one of her fug moles. Bitch, you went to Harvard and speak five languages! WTF are you doing modeling?

Source:Dlisted

Are Carmen and Dave over?

The former Jane's Addiction rocker has been spotted out at several Hollywood clubs recently without his wife, looking very much on his own. Dave added fuel to the fire as he eyed a pretty woman outside a club recently. For her part, Carmen flew solo at the 'Oscar Rocks' party in Hollywood last Sunday. The couple has spent a lot of time apart over the last year while she filmed 'Cheaper by the Dozen 2' in Canada and he hosted 'Rock Star: INXS' in Los Angeles. Electra even admitted that their hectic schedules made it almost impossible for them to even think about starting a family. "We would like to have kids but we are apart so often that it's not easy," she admitted

Signs of further stress in their relationship surfaced when the colorful couple were photographed at a Neiman Marcus store in Beverly Hills, looking distant and withdrawn from each other. It looks like the danger signals are flashing for the couple that got married before MTV cameras in Las Vegas back in 2003. The twice divorced Navarro -- whose mother Connie Navarro was tragically murdered when he was a teenager -- has been battling substance abuse on and off for a long time.

Source:TMZ

Kate Moss at fashion show in spirit

'British designer Alexander McQueen had an image of the supermodel emerge out of smoke in a holographic installation at his ready-to-wear show on Friday, paying tribute to Moss, who lost advertising contracts after a cocaine scandal last year.

Moss‘s dream-like appearance crowned a spectacular show, in which McQueen played to his Scottish roots, sending out models in tight tartan suits, or a checkered dress with knitted sleeves, held together by a large brown belt.

Seeming to emerge out of smoke, the supermodel danced and turned, trailing large trains of floating fabric behind her before becoming smaller and smaller and disappearing entirely.

McQueen, who last autumn wore a T-shirt reading "We love you Kate" at his show, won standing ovations from many guests.

Moss, 32, who made a real appearance at a fashion show of Britain‘s Burberry in Italy last month, was at the center of a scandal last year after being filmed apparently snorting cocaine. The story prompted Burberry and Swedish-based Hennes and Mauritz to cut ties with the model.'

They act like she died.

Source:Olberlin